Why you should be preparing for interviews? Why you should not let this opportunity slip by? Why you should shake things up this time?
Because the satisfactions which you get, when your body is completely tired, you are exhausted but you want to keep going because you are in a flow. You must experience this. It’s manly.
Remember those comments made to you by your colleagues and your friends.
Remember all the rejections and the views that you don’t have it in you.
To experience the awesome feeling, that you have given your best.
The momentum that you get by working hard that propels you to work even harder. The look on the face, that’s the look of a knowledgeable person.
Remember the unfulfilled promises that you have made to your family and yourself.
To realize, having faith in you is the best thing in world.
Remember the humiliation your ex gave you.
Remember that you want to move in a better apartment because you deserve a better apartment.
Remember the compromises you have made because you had little money.
Let me rant a little about marriage or relationship or lack of it in my life. As a 32 year old male, i am at risk of becoming some what of failure because i do not have many of qualities any eligible bachelor should have. I know my shortcomings and i am very aware of remedial actions that i should take. Thing is, i am very lazy and disinterested about most of things in life as of now.
I think about living comfortably in a nice house and drive a decent car but i am not motivated enough to work towards it. Why i am like this, i am not very sure. I have a supportive family. They have tolerated me so far, they have tagged me as an underachiever, someone who doesn’t recognized his potential. I am just very unhappy and unsatisfied.
Now, when i am in this mess, how am i supposed to get married? Why should i disturb someone else life with my mind-fuck? I have to go through arrange marriage route, i am a registered user of a matrimonial site. I believe that they work but i don’t even do my searches, thousands of rupees worth of membership is getting wasted. I am not a good product for this marriage market, i don’t have an USP for good matches. Getting rejected even virtually hurts :-(. Should i improve myself, yes i should. But it takes effort and i am just not interested for any of it. Every day i waste huge amount of time in thinking, over-thinking, planning but i am not getting anywhere. I do start but i lose tempo.
Guess what- i am thinking to make a list of worse case scenarios that could happen to me if i don’t start working hard. Probably that could kick me to run.
Damn, this is cathartic.
वास्तविकता को समझ लेना और खुद को भी समझा लेना , इसमें और हार मान लेने क्या फ़र्क है?
बहुत कुछ पाया जा सकता है और बहुत कुछ नहीं , कब हमें स्वीकार कर लेना चाहिए वर्त्तमान को।
ज़िद और सार्थक प्रयास में क्या अंतर है।
सवाल बहुत है , जवाब कहीं नहीं
बहुत दिनों के बाद रुका हूँ आज
पर यूँ लगा कि एक कदम भी बढ़ा नहीं आगे
तस्वीरें बदल रही हो जैसे
नयी तस्वीरो के बाद पुरानी
मैं तेज चला, मैं रोज़ चला
क्या ये खुद को थका देने कि कवायद है
कि नए बदलावों कि कोशिश है
आज बस ठहरा हूँ
तेज चलूँगा, रोज चलूँगा
सब कुछ तो समाया है मुझमें,
पर मैं तो व्यथित नहीं।
मैं अंतहीन हूँ ,
तुम सिमटी हुई हो।
मेरे गीले आँगन में,
तुम छोड़ जाना अपने ग़म।
तुम लिखना नए ख्वाब,
मेरी गीली रेत पर।
वेग है मुझमें , हरपल सब नया है,
तुम आना मेरे पास ,जागने के लिए।
So this friend of mine, she went to Goa and she had some great pictures of her visit. she wanted me to write something for one of the pics.
I wanted to post it in my Facebook wall but i do not like to answer meaningless questions. So it will be here in my personal space. I have just started reading Hunter S Thompson works.
की मेरी धड़कने तुम्हारे कानों में बसें
की मेरी उँगलियों गुंथी हो तुम्हारी उँगलियों से
तुम्हारे भीगे बालों से टपकती बूँदें
मेरे लिखे ये हर्फ़ धुंधलाती रहें
मेरे वजूद का एक कोना हमेशा बेखुद रहे
मैं इंसान हूँ, थोडा खुदगर्ज भी
सुकून चाहिए जो कहीं बँटता नहीं
मिलता है जब कोई प्यार करे