Life never fails to caught you off guard, isn’t it. One of my friend today called me to inform that my ex is now living in a live-in relationship in pune. I don’t know this is true or not, neither do i want to verify it. This certainly gave me a chance to observe my reaction. Well, it felt bad…..
I asked a question to myself–why i am feeling pain.
Is it because, she found somebody quickly enough and moved on and i am still dwelling in era-bygone or i am unhappy because she is happy and i am not, she forgot everything which we shared and started a live-in relationship for god sake, not even a proper marriage. This whole saga reminded me my inadequacy, it reminded me still i am not the person she thought i would be.
I also think that, everybody has every right to feel happy. If she is happy in decisions she had made for herself, who am i to question that or why should i be judge-mental about it.
I guess, i want her happy in her life, that’s the bottom line. But at the same time i feel guilty about my past..I know she loved me once, even she can not deny it. I could have done better, if i know about life then what i know now.
Rahi Masoom Raza has wrote some where-
टूट गए सारे वहम, बस एक जिद बाकी है
जिस दिन वो टूटेगी, उस दिन हारूँगा
Ab koi zid baki nahi hai, haar or jit ka kuch matlab nahi, ye sab ego ke games hain. Khusi mayne rakhti hai….