I now truly understand what Ghalib would have meant when he wrote :
हज़ारों ख्वाहिशें ऐसी के हर ख्वाहिश पे दम निकले
बहुत निकले मेरे अरमान लेकिन फिर भी कम निकले
Life seems to be a long list of unkept promises, broken faith. Soul crushing need of being with some-one(or be with her), do things which we used to do, just listen to her. Even my name in her voice was music to my ears.
In all these pendulum like days, one thing has kept my sanity intact is my reading habit. I read lot of books related to spirituality, from osho to buddhism till commentories on Gita I have tried all. I like to consider my self a seeker, Someday i will truly find bliss. These books has expand my horizons and I can see things in different perspective, they have inspired me in different ways and has given me courage to move on.
One quote from OSHO-
If you are sad you are wrong; if you are joyful you are right. It has been almost a criterion to me that anybody who is sad, complaining, grumpy, is wrong — is bound to be wrong. He may find out thousand and one reasons why he is sad, I don´t accept. He is sad because he has not allowed his life… to blossom.